Back in November, for the second time in three years, I was close to death.
And since November, I’ve been in a non-stop fight for my life. Not in the sense of trying to live. I’m not going to drop dead any time soon as long as I keep taking my medications. But, in November a lot of things changed for me. I lost my footing and realized how important every piece of the puzzle is.
We never, ever think about how important every moment is until it is too late.
It’s almost been too late for me twice now, I’m not going to test my luck again.
Since then I’ve welcomed every moment, whether it has been amazing or terrible. Even when I’m miserable and I think to myself “Can this just go away?” I actively stop myself and think…feel this moment..enjoy it…it’ll be gone fast enough.
I’m really tired right now. Last night I had a slumber party with my godbaby. It was awesome. Then today after I finished spending time with him I finished a surprise I’ve been working on for my parents’ anniversary. But I’m very content.
I’m also looking back on the time since November.
There are a few people who are no longer in my life now that used to be. I finally figured out why.
I needed to work really hard at moving my life forward. And I couldn’t do that with any negativity. Anyone who told me I couldn’t do it, even if they meant it with the best intentions, had to go. I had to put myself first.
This is finally something I can live with.
When dealing with chronic illness if there is ever anything getting in the way of you being who want to be, don’t let it. You can do anything, and it’s your job to accomplish everything you want. The world will get you down, so you can’t surround yourself with any more negativity than you’re already going to meet along the way.